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He was devastatedcalled me every night crying telling me to please go back. Its fascinating that in so many women are defining themselves by their MD husbands like we are in s season from Mad Men. Going along with her cult might feel fine when it is just you in her, but if you have kids, it will be very different. You can and should share with her why you don't and never will believe in the Mormon church, and let her decide for herself, but be prepared to have that blow up in your face. In the interfaith marriages that work where one is LDS and the other is not religious, it only works out when the LDS partner is not fully a believer anymore. I would say though that racial differences are NOT like religious differences, certainly not those between Mo and Nomo. There are many good things.
My dad was in the bishopric for most of my childhood, and I was never the person you describe here. Is your mind made up and you want justifying support. It gives people a sense of purpose, while pressuring them to be 'good' by their book. My husband is more relaxed now - even with 14 hour days - and yes, I am starting to feel like he is "coming back".